The Body

So, usually after Amy goes to bed I put on some random discs of tv shows, or a movie or something, just to have some sound while I write fanfiction and apply for jobs. Tonight I asked Amy for some random numbers before she vanished, to determine what episode of Buffy to start off my night with. I wound up with The Body, which, if you haven't seen, is one of the most beautifully done episodes, and also the most emotionally difficult to watch. It's one of my favorites, even so, and every time I see it I notice more brilliant little touches, details that make it amazing.
I'm also noticing, this time around, that I actually hold up pretty well during all the characters' individual breakdowns--except for Anya. There's something about her complete lack of understanding, her fear that she's doing something or saying something wrong, that makes her sadness the hardest to face. How do you explain death to someone who's never been mortal, and who's never had any conception of this kind of loss? In this episode she's like a child in a grown-up body, more so than any of the others, and I think it's the extremity of her uncertainty and confusion that really drives home the point--none of us understand death, even with social and cultural rituals to help us deal with it.
This isn't the most upbeat post ever, but I wanted to get my thoughts down while I was having them. Maybe there's an academic paper to be had just in close analysis of this episode! I almost want to compare it with one of the many YA novels that deal with a parent's death. That would've been a good paper for my YA class, the prof was a big Buffy fan. Becky, when we write our book about Buffy, let's have a whole essay about The Body. Even though it doesn't have much relation to sexuality in the series, lol.