Time Flies.

December looms o'er
me, full of traditions; they
mark time, reminding

me how much has changed.
Time flies on faster wings than
I can keep up with.

Another Quiz! Damn, I Love Taking These Things.

1. Initials
RAH (or RATH, if you want to get complicated)

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you
The most recent late Pope (I heart Papa!), Perry Como, Mt. St. Helens.

3. Last thing you ate
A bite of stuffing (it's leftovers for lunch at work).

4. For or against same sex marriage
For!!

5. I say Shotgun! You say
I like the back seat, actually.

6. Last person you hugged
Becky.

7. Do you believe in God
Yes.

8. How many U.S states have you been to
Hmm... I'll just list them, you can do your own counting. States I've stayed a while in: PA, NY, NJ, MA, VA, VT, FL, CA, WashDC. States I've just traveled through: DE, CT.

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in
New Jersey and Pennsylvania.

10. Ever lived outside of the US
In London for a semester (damn, those were good times).

11. Name something you like physically about yourself
Hmm... eyes and feet.

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself
Voice and dexterity.

13. Who is your best friend?
Becky.

14. Why are you still up?
I'm going to keep Alex's answer for this: because its the middle of the afternoon.

15. Who made you angry today
Nobody so far! Except random pedestrians that I almost hit with my bike.

16. Favorite type of Food
Chinese, Italian, turkey!

17. Favorite holiday
Christmas and May Day.

18. Do you download music
Yes, in large spurts.

19. What illegal things have you done
Hmm.... drinking underage, stealing a milk crate and attaching it to my bike, stealing things from stores, running red lights, jaywalking..... Ok, I'm just grasping at straws now to make myself sound cool and daring.

20. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally
It's occurred more often that I immediately thought, but the instance that sticks out in my mind also happened to be the best birthday present ever.

21. Do you love anyone
I've got more love than a hippie has beads, man.

22. Do you like Bush?
None of the George variety.

23. Have you ever bungee jumped
Nope.

24. Have you ever gone white-water rafting
No, though I would consider it more readily than bungee jumping.

25. How much money ya got
Absolutely nothing. That's not true, there's money in my account, but all of it (plus more that I don't have) goes to rent and bills.

26. Have you met a real redneck
Um...this is an odd question.

27. How is the weather right now
Talk about Indian Summer.... It's 65 degrees outside. Might as well be spring.

28. What are you listening to right now
People talking in the office.

29. What is your current favorite song
Today, it's the Cherry Tree Carol.

30. What was the last movie you watched
You know, I'm really not sure. The last DVD I watched was Buffy.

31. Do you wear contacts
Yes, though I change them so rarely that I usually forget they're there.

32. Where was the last place you went besides your house
Work.

33. What are you afraid of
Lots of things.

34. How many piercings and tattoos do you have
One hole in each ear and three/four tattoos (I still can't ever decide if my ankle is one or two).

35. How many pets do you have
An adorable dog, at home with the 'rents.

36. Have you ever loved someone
Yes.

37. What turns you on?
Good lord... lots of things.

38. What do you usually order from starbucks
I don't usually order from Starbucks.

39. Have you ever fired a gun
Only the squirting variety.

40. Fav. TV show
Buffy!! Also Gargoyles, and DS9.

41. Do you have an ipod
Yes, and it has served me well.

42. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb
Once some foreign track team on a bus in Philly told me I looked like someone from American Idol.

43. Where will you be when you're 40
Over the hill.

44. Who would you like to see right now
Hmm... that's a tough question, actually. I'd like to see everyone, all together. :)

45. Favorite movie of all time
That's hard! Either TMNT or the Agony and the Ecstasy or five billion other things that I love.

46. Do you find yourself loved
Yes, and it gets me through the day.

47. Have you ever regretted something you didn't do
Something I didn't do? That's interesting. Yes, I guess so.

48. Favorite flower
Daisies, tulips and orchids come to mind... but I really like most flowers, anything that's a pretty color and a nice shape.

49. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn
Butter and salt, please!

50. What Magazines are you reading
I get Reader's Digest, but I only read the jokes.

51. Have you ever ridden in a limo
Yes, for a funeral.

52. What's something that really bugs you
People who walk right in front of you when you are on a bike and have the right of way.

53. Do you like Michael Jackson
I like his music, as a general rule.

54. What's your favorite smell
Oregano, sausage cooking, turkey cooking, Charlie and Chantilly perfumes, Nag Champa and sandalwood incense, red smelly markers.

55. Favorite (football) cricket team
Hah....I can't even begin to answer this.

56. Favorite cereal
Captain Crunch.

57. Do you drive
I do not.

58. What do you drive
A bike!

59. Last time you went bowling
I haven't the slightest idea... it has to be at least six or seven years ago.

60. Where is the weirdest place you have slept
I'll keep Alex's answer for this one, too: that'd have to be under a tree at Bryn Mawr.

61. Last phone call
Mom and Dad.

62. When was the last time you were at work
I am at work right now. Working hard, obviously.

63. Whats your favorite state to be in
I'm a fan of those explosively joyous moments in life..... Like when Dar comes on at the May Hole and the sun finally comes out.

Dream

I dreamed last night that Alex and I were in Mexico.... At first I think I was supposed to be living there, and I was showing Alex how close my house was, and how I could bike to her house from there, but after that bit it was clear that I was just vacationing. There was some confusion with Alex's house though, her mom had bought some kind of store, but the woman who sold it to her was actually only selling her an empty building, not the business, so she took away all the stock, and that was a problem. But then we started walking to the house, and it didn't look like Ajijic, but it did look like Mexico at least... And I kept looking at bathing suits along the way, because I wanted to go swimming in the pool, but for some reason I hadn't brought a suit. I didn't buy one, though, because I had no money (clearly my real life invading the dream, there). I thought of skinny dipping, but then we stopped off somewhere and invited some American guys home for dinner, and there went that idea! I don't know who the boys were, or why they were there really. Then suddenly Alex's sister was there, in the same way that Dawn just appeared on Buffy even though Buffy had never had a sister before, and the sister and Alex's mom were going to make us dinner so that we could go and have fun before we ate. So we took a walk, and we were very serious, rather than having fun, just sort of walking and talking, and then we sat down under a tree with one of the guys, and for some reason I knew that the guy was dating Alex, and I remember admitting that I was sad that she'd brought him there, because I wanted Mexico to be my place, and not just where she brought everybody she dated...which we then laughed about, because she lives there now. But then I realized that I wasn't talking to Alex anymore, it was Becky, and the guy was Becky's boyfriend (sorry Charlotte...lol). I suddenly knew that I'd been talking to Becky this whole time, and I was like, where did Alex wander off to? So I went off to find her, and finally did, and then we went inside to dinner, and by then it was just Alex and I and the two American guys, who didn't seem to be anyone's boyfriends anymore. I went to alert all the pets that it was dinnertime, and there were way more cats than there should have been, but they were all cute...and for some reason the dogs weren't there. Then we all sat down to dinner, but Alex's mom and sister weren't there anymore, and their chairs were gone, so we decided that they had already eaten, and were trying to set us up with the boys. Then my alarm went off.

This is dream is so clearly related to many things I was thinking about before I went to bed... my lack of money, Dawn on Buffy, the pictures of the house in Mexico now that it's mostly finished.... very interesting.

A Christmas Survey (It's Going Around)

1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? Hmmm.... I think I'd have to say Eggnog.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I've always been under the impression that, in my family, he drops them off in November so that my mom can wrap them herself, and then tease me about them.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White lights on the house, colored lights on the tree. Though my mom likes white lights on everything, so that's what we do at home.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? My parents don't, but I did last year for the holiday party.

5. When do you put your decorations up? At home, Thanksgiving weekend. With Becky, sometime before the holiday party.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Aunt Mary's eggplant parm.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: When I got a phone call from Santa, to ask what I wanted for Christmas and to make sure that I was behaving myself.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I can't recall a time I didn't know that he always brings me good presents. :)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes! Always Christmas pajamas.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? At home, white lights, sparkly balls, and lots and lots of ornaments, most of which carry lots of memories for me. With Becky, colored lights and lots of ornaments, most of them lovingly made and given.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it!

12. Can you ice skate? Moderately well, meaning I don't have to hold on to the wall beyond the first few times around, but I haven't been in a long time. I'm dying to go. Maybe this winter I'll finally make it....

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I think I might have to say Mikey. He was a Christmas present way back when I was little, and is the one I still treasure the most. :)

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending time with my friends, doing all the traditional things with my family, and picking really thoughtful gifts. And listening to Christmas music.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Meema's tarts!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Looking for Rudolph's nose in the sky on the drive home from Staten Island on Christmas Eve.

17. What tops your tree? At home, a pretty angel that we've had forever. With Becky, an angel that I made.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? I love the actual process of picking out and purchasing presents, even though I also find it stressful; I often have more fun doing that than getting gifts myself, although I like that part too. :)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Wow, I could never choose! So I'll say the one I'm currently most interested in, which is called something like the Cherry Carol.... I have to find a recording of it, I heard it at my parents' over the weekend and forgot to ask them to burn it for me. If you haven't heard it, it's about Mary and Joseph walking in a cherry tree grove, and Mary asks Joseph to pick her a cherry, because she's pregnant (it's more poetic in the song). Joseph says "let he who made you with child pluck a cherry" (harsh!), and then suddenly all these cherries fall out of the tree and into Mary's hands. I forget how it ends, but can't you just imagine the look on Joseph's face?

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum??? Yummmmm! And they last so long that you don't keep snacking all the time.

Because It's Endlessly Fascinating to Take Pictures of Myself.

Christmastreeing!

I've coined a new verb. It's what you use to describe the act of the post-Thanksgiving Christmas tree decorating, and all the zaniness that goes with it.



And now, the final product! In daylight--



--and at night.



Ta da! I'll be putting pictures up on Shutterfly, too.

Pretty Damn Funny.

Check this out.

In Place of Snuggles, For Alex and the Rest of the Blog Readership.

The Thanksgiving Saga of Longfellow the Dachschund.

It all began with a family reunion...

then came the begging:

A first taste of eggnog...




then a snoutfull of it...




finally, the tryptophan kicked in.



Whoever coined the phrase "working like a dog" never met Longfellow.

Takin' a Quiz.

A Better Survey Than The Ones Above And Below - for girls and gay guys
Basics
What do you prefer to be called?:	Rachel or Rach, depending on who's doing the calling.
When were you born and where?:	11:06 am, 5/18/82, Plainfield NJ.
Where do you currently reside?:	Somerville MA.
Getting to know you
What could you eat for the rest of your life?:	Chinese food, Thanksgiving turkey, and pizza!
Where is your favorite place to visit locally?:	So far, the TOMB.
What is your favorite place to visit for a vacation?:	Europe was lovely. I'd like to vacation in London.
What is your preference: AIM, MSN, Yahoo!, etc.?:	AIM.
If you could magically appear in full costume in a movie, which would it be:	Hahaha...for the pure fun of the costume, and because I'm a total dork, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Either that or Pirates of the Caribbean.
Which role would you play?:	For TMNT, one of the turtles. It would be such a total waste to be in that movie and play April, or a random ninja. In Pirates, some kind of sexy girl pirate.
What is your favorite accessory?:	Currently, my watch, with watchbands you can change so it matches what you're wearing.
What is your dream career?:	Currently I'm dreaming of writing, painting and crafting. With proffessorship on the side, so I can eat.
Which country would you live in if you had the choice?:	Perhaps England.
Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster?:	Of course. I watched a whole show about it in California, lol...
How about ouija boards?:	Yes, though they often don't work for real.
Which would you rather be stuck in?
Winter blizzard or summer heat/humidity?:	Blizzard, all the way!
Hurricane or Earthquake?:	Hmm.... hurricane, maybe? But I've never experienced an earthquake.
An opera or a football game?:	Opera, for sure.
A closet or an elevator?:	A closet.
a railroad track with an oncoming train or hanging from a carnival ride?:	Eek! Um.... hanging from a ride, I think.
A fight between friends or a room filled with scary spiders?:	Scary spiders, for sure.
Randoms
Who are you jealous of and for what reason?:	Oh, all right, I can be mostly honest. Alex, for musical ability, apparently universal sex appeal, the sort of worldliness that always made me feel frumpy and foolish, and red hair; Becky, for intellectual capability, incredible capacity for love, and sense of justice; Katie, for independence, manifested most clearly in the owning and driving of a car; anyone in a relationship, because I miss lots of things about that; my parents, for having the money to eat out a lot; Thomas, for having really low rent and living in the same neighborhood that I do.
which type of salad dressing do you prefer?:	Parmesean Peppercorn or Creamy Caesar. Or sometimes Ranch.
Can you eat with chopsticks?:	Since I was 5, and with great success. I'm very proud.
...Are you addicted to myspace? Tell the truth.:	Not at all, actually. I only went there once, I think.
In the Opposite sex (or same if you are gay)
What is your favorite eye color?:	I like eyes with character, regardless of color. But if I had to choose, I'd say green or light blue.
What is the first thing you notice when you are attracted to him?:	Okay, starting here, let's all mentally change the pronouns to female. I notice that I stare, or that I start thinking about the person at random moments.
Do you like light, sparkling hair or smooth, dark hair?:	I often prefer light hair to dark, but it's not a strong preference. And I'm not sure how sparkling hair works...
Any preferred height?:	It seems that I tend to be attracted to women approximately my own height, or a little shorter.
What is one thing he could say that would make you melt?:	Probably "I love you," sincerely meant, would be enough. I melt easily.
What is the most romantic scenerio you can think of?:	The only things coming to mind are things that already happened, and I'm not sure if that counts...
Do you need a ring, if he were to propose?:	I think yes, but it wouldn't have to be an expensive ring. Plastic would do, if the sentiment was there.
Are you crushing on anyone in particular?:	There was an attractive girl at the party I went to last weekend, but I was really drunk and she seemed pretty uninterested. Not that I talked to her, or anything, lol. Other than that, I haven't found a new avenue for my affections.
If not, who is the closest thing to *drool* you can think of?:	Regina Spektor. Oh yeah.
Fashion expression
What is your favorite color to wear?:	Hmm.... I'm really not sure. I think I wear blue the most often, if that says anything. I've been wearing lots of purple lately, too.
Is there an article of clothing you wear every day?:	Like, a specific one? My robe.
What brings out the color of your eyes?:	This pale blue/green long sleeved shirt that I wore today. I noticed in the mirror that it really made my eyes stand out.
Are your nails painted? If so, what color?:	No, I gave up on that long ago.
What would you call your style?:	Hmm... colorful, usually relatively modest, sometimes a little dykey but sometimes pretty femme.
What is your frequent shop? (department store):	Old Navy, H&M, Target.
Is your hair short or long?:	Short, though it's growing pretty rapidly. I may actually let it go this time.
Is it your natural color?:	By now I think it is. I dyed it darker a while ago, but that's all grown out.
Do you prefer to be tan or pale?:	I like to be tan, but not enough to work at it in any way.
Friends
Do you get very personal with your friends?:	Yes, usually.
Are you friends with two or more different 'groups'?:	Yes, I guess so, but all the closest friends are pretty much the same group.
Who is most simliar to you?:	Huh...my first instinct is Becky, because we spend so much time together that we've rubbed off.
Who is most opposite?:	That's a tough one. I'm not sure I know the answer. I can see similarities between myself and all of my friends.
Who do you suppose will take this survey after you?:	Probably Becky and Katie...maybe Alex...possibly Maddie. I'm never sure where things will end up when I'm the first one to post them.
Finale
What time is it?:	1:11 am.
I hope you enjoyed the survey.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Out of Body

I'm feeling strangely...outside of my life. I'm laying in my childhood bed, in my childhood room, mostly unchanged since I began to occupy it at the age of six. I'm reading about the life of Beverly Cleary, and thinking about my own life. I'm listening to music that used to sing me to sleep every night, and now mostly makes me sad, even though I still like to hear it when the mood is right; I'm full of food, and thinking about my family, and wondering how I got from the girl who slept every night in this pink-and-purple room to the life I am in now. I remember scenes from my life like some sort of movie, a show that I don't quite remember participating in. The last time I slept in this room and actually occupied it, I thought I would grow up to be a famous writer, and that I would marry a man, and that I would live next door to Katie as an old woman and tease her about all our old jokes. I hoped for romance, imagined sex, thought I had a clear understanding of love and heartache, looked forward to beginning college. I somehow thought that nothing would change. And still, things continue to change. My house is full of relics; my old toys, old clothes, old books. Photos of myself everywhere, my parents stopping time for a moment and hanging each moment on the wall. I realized as I was setting the table for dinner that my mother had framed a photo of Alex and I and placed it on a side table; above the table on the wall were photos of Ryan and I at prom, Katie and I at graduation, myself at four riding a rocking horse, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. My life, all laid out for me to peruse, in random order. And still, I'm not sure how any of it happened, how the journey actually occurred. It's strange to be nearly 25 and staying in my childhood house. It makes me glad I left, and at the same time it makes me want to cry until they promise I never have to go back to an independent life, that I can give it all up and be a child, and feel safe. I thought, looking forward to the holiday, that being at home would be a relief, and in some ways it is, but in some ways not. The house doesn't keep out sadness, or confusion, it's just familiar, and full of more memories than I can hold in my head at once. It's...well, it's interesting, and strange. It's just the kind of thing that I like to write on and on about in a poetic fashion in the middle of the night. ;)

Taking a Breather

Just taking a breather from the obscene amount of food in our basement right now...and from the heat down there, and the very active children. ;) Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I hope yours is as good as mine has been so far. I also hope you get to go shopping tomorrow, because I am, YAY! Old Navy, H&M and Target, here I come (with Mom and her credit cards)!!

Ow.

My ass is bruised. But I have a bike! It has a basket made out of a milk crate that I illegally stole! I covered all the writing on the crate that says "it is illegal to steal this" with duct tape, and decorated the whole thing with ribbons! I'm such a weirdo. Now I just have to get a bunch of rainbow stickers to cover up the ugly splashes of color on the frame, and I'll have a Rachel-tastic dyke bike.

Procrastinating Sleep. How Dumb Is That?

tons of questions that show your in depth side!
basics
whats your name?:	Rachel
what do people call you?:	Rachel, Rach, and Beaver calls me Lady.
where you named after anything?:	No. And the typos in this are atrocious.
if you were born the oppisite sex what would your name be?:	Kyle (or Bard, if my dad had succeeded)
do people spell/say your name wrong?:	Yes, they constantly spell it with an extra "a"
if you could change your name what would you change it to?:	I'm okay with it... But if I was forced to change it, I think I might pick Adeline, my grandma's middle name. Old-fashioned and kind of frumpy, but I like the way it rolls.
gender?:	Female. That should be clear to anyone reading this blog.
birthday?:	5/18/1982
age?:	24 and 1/2, as of Saturday.
age you act?:	God only knows...
age you want to be?:	23 was pretty good. But I think I'm fairly content to stick with the age I'm at.
height?:	5'7"
eye color?:	They have a range, depending on the day...green, hazel, blue, yellow
happy with it?:	Yes.
natural hair color?:	Mousy light brown, sometimes with natural highlights.
happy with it? if not do you dye it?:	It's okay, but I like to dye it. So far I've gone light red/strawberry blonde, dark warm brown, and tweed. Now considering purple, to look like 'Nique.
righty or lefty?:	Righty, I'm absolutely hopeless with my left.
family?:	Um... Yes.
pets?:	Longfellow, who is very far away. Becky and I are also considering getting a pet.
peircings?:	Just ears, though I took a picture of myself on my new comp that makes it look like I have a stud in my nose.
tatoos?:	Four so far, more to come. The next one will hopefully be after Christmas.
love and stuff
single?:	Yes.
who are you with, or who do you want to be with?:	I think I'm going to skip most of this section, actually.
are you in love?:	skipping
have you ever been in love, if so how many times?:	skipping
do you believe in love at first sight?:	tra la la
is it possible to be faithful to one person for ever?:	just on principle
do you want to get married?:	hahaha
do you want to have kids?:	Yes, I think so.
how many?:	I'm unsure.
do you believe in divorce?:	Yes? I mean, yes, but it seems like an odd way to phrase the question.
do you belive in true love?:	Yes.
do you consider love a mistake?:	No, I don't think so.
turn-ons?:	women.
turns-offs?:	men.
do you think the oppisite sex finds you attractive?:	I hope not. I mean, fine, if they do. That guy at the party on Saturday was nice enough, and happily flaming.
what is best about the opposite sex?:	They don't attend Bryn Mawr or Simmons, unless they are graduate students.
what is worst about the oppisite sex?:	Oh, I don't know. I'm not a total man-hater, really. I don't like it when they get grabby in clubs.
are you a virgin?:	No.
do you belive you should be in love to have sex?:	I can never quite make up my mind.
how far have you gone?:	See above, re: virginity.
how many people have you had sex with?:	See above, re: skipping on principle.
do other people consider you a slut?:	I highly doubt that. More like a dirty old man.
right at this moment...
where are you?:	On the couch.
what can you see out your window?:	Mostly darkness, and a streetlight, and some cars.
are you listening to music?:	No.
are you lonely or tired?:	Definitely tired. Not entirely lonely.
use 5 words to decribe how you are feeling::	tired and not entirely lonely.
are you talking to anyone online? if so who?:	Nobody. Not that I often talk to anyone online, anyway.
are you talking to anyone of the phone? if so who?:	No.
what are you wearing?:	Fuzzy pj pants and my huge BMC sweatshirt.
what are you doing?:	Taking this quiz.....
whats on your mousepad?:	I don't have one.
friends
how many true friends do you have?:	It seems petty to count them.
are you a loner?:	I go back and forth. I have solitary urges that correspond to various kinds of moodiness.
who is your best friend?:	Becky!
oldest?:	I always have to think about this, even though I know the answer--Kristine.
newest?:	Amy Conway beats out Autumn by about a week.
shyest?:	Kirstin. She also wins 25-iest and most disappearing.
loudest?:	Hah, I think I also must say Julia.
smartest?:	This is difficult and not really answerable, because everyone I'm friends with is very smart. Well, not everyone, but many.
ditziest?:	I could name some folks at work...but I won't.
funniest?:	Becky wins for making me laugh the most.
who is the best listener?:	Once again, got to be Becky.
do you prefer to hang out with one friend or a group of friends?:	That depends... but I usually either want to be alone or be with lots of company. I just don't get that option very often.
who do you wish you were closer to?:	Many people, actually.
who knows the most about you?:	Becky and Katie and probably Alex, I think it's a three-way tie.
who knows the least about you?:	This is an interesting question, I'm just coming up with people who aren't actually friends, because they know very little about me.
who do you trust the most?:	Becky.
the least?:	I'm a pretty trusting person.
who do you fight with the most?:	Well, the only people I fight with ever are Becky and Alex.
who do you talk to online the most?:	Becky, Katie and Alex. I can see where this whole section is going.
who do you talk to on the phone the most?:	Actually, my mom.
do you trust others easily?:	See above.
name one who's arms you feel safe in::	I think it's just a symptom of lots of changes, but I don't feel very safe anywhere. Not in a dramatic way. Just not safe like I used to feel in my various homes.
who house were you at last?:	Probably Lilah's?
who's your second family?:	I usually just refer to them as The Group, with concentrically smaller circles of familyness in it... BMVCOE forever!
who lives the farthest away?:	At the moment, Alex and Amy Sullivan.
do you....
smoke?:	No, despite the best efforts of a certain BAD INFLUENCE... ;)
drink alcohol?:	Yes, and enjoy it.
do drugs?:	No.
pray?:	Yes.
go to church?:	No. Though I probably will over Thanksgiving. Bleah.
sleep with stuffed animals?:	Yes! A billion!
take walks in the rain?:	Yes.
dance in the rain?:	Now and then.
do any sports? if so which ones?:	I'd like to get back into karate, but I always say that and I never do.
sleep around?:	No.
lie a lot?:	Not a lot, really.
steal?:	Periodically.
gamble?:	No, not that I can think of...
have you ever....
kissed a stranger?:	I was about to say no, but that's not entirely true, I've been kissed by strangers. Without wanting to be. Not quite the same, but an interesting factoid.
slept with a stranger?:	No, thankfully.
spun until you were so dizzy you couldn't walk?:	Yes! At work!
screamed so much you lost your voice?:	Not that I can remember.
laughed so much it was painful?:	Absolutely.
cried so much it was painful?:	Absolutely.
gone skinny dipping?:	Absolutely.
played strip poker?:	I wanted to answer Absolutely, but actually the answer is no.
had a medical emergency?:	Yes! Attack of the scalding coffee.
ran away from home?:	I threatened to.
done something extremely unexpected?:	I'm sure I've done things that people other than me were not expecting.
slept outside?:	Yes.
been onstage?:	Yes!
deep stuff....
whats your biggest fear?:	That somehow life in general will not work out in my favor. Or that I will suddenly be entirely alone.
what was your weirdest dream?:	Hmm, well, reading Alex's answers reminded me of the dream where I was having a shark baby.
scariest dream?:	Maybe the one that involved the scary melting head with spider legs that was under my bed.
do you have a reoccuring dream?:	I dream about toilets and bathrooms a lot...but I haven't had a recurring dream in years.
what was your best dream?:	Probably a sex dream of some kind.
what IS your dream?:	To be happy. :)
do you live in the moment?:	What does that actually mean? I"m not sure I do.
what you greatest stregth?:	I don't really know.
whats your greatest weakness?:	Again, I'm not sure.
do you have a motto you live by?:	Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.
if your life were a movie what would it be called?:	Rachel, the Movie.
do you have any bad habits?:	Many, I'm sure.
do you have any secrets?:	I was just talking about this with Becky. There are things I don't tell most people, but I don't have many actual secrets.
are you fake?:	I try not to be.
what do you want to do in life?:	Be creative.
are you a daredevil?:	On occasion.
are you predictable?:	Often.
do you keep a journal/diary?:	Sporadically; mostly I keep secret boxes.
if you could change one thing about you would you? what would it be?:	I always think that this is a dumb question.
if you were someone else, would you be friends with yourself?:	Probably.
do you think your a good person?:	Essentially.
do you think your emotionally strong?:	Yes.
do you regret anything?:	Yes...but not in a totally painful and dramatic way.
do you think life has been good so far?:	Yes, pretty good.
what do you like most about you body?:	Eyes and feet.
least?:	Thighs and nose.
are you trust worthy?:	Yes.
are you gullible?:	Yes.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

25?!?

Even though it's a day late to make it to the blog.....



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIRSTIN!!!!

Old News From Muhlenberg

I found this article when searching online for information about Adam Rapp's The Buffalo Tree, because I read it in class and want to write a paper on it. Read the article, and I'll rant at the bottom. Note: to those of you not from my hometown, Muhlenberg is very close to where I grew up. Too close.

NY Times: A Town's Struggle in the Culture War

By BRUCE WEBER
NY Times
June 2, 2005

MUHLENBERG, Pa. - In April, at an otherwise mundane meeting of the school board here, Brittany Hunsicker, a 16-year-old student at the local high school, stood up and addressed the assembled board members.

"How would you like if your son and daughter had to read this?" Miss Hunsicker asked.

Then she began to recite from "The Buffalo Tree," a novel set in a juvenile detention center and narrated by a tough, 12-year-old boy incarcerated there. What she read was a scene set in a communal shower, where another adolescent boy is sexually aroused.

"I am in the 11th grade," Miss Hunsicker said. "I had to read this junk."

Less than an hour later, by a unanimous vote of the board (two of its nine members were absent) "The Buffalo Tree" was banned, officially excised from the Muhlenberg High School curriculum. By 8:30 the next morning all classroom copies of the book had been collected and stored in a vault in the principal's office. Thus began a still unresolved battle here over the fate of "The Buffalo Tree," a young adult novel by Adam Rapp that was published eight years ago by HarperCollins and has been on the 11th-grade reading list at Muhlenberg High since 2000. Pitting teachers, students and others who say the context of the novel's language makes it appropriate for the classroom against those parents and board members who say context be damned, it is a dispute illustrative of the so-called culture war, which, in spite of its national implications, is fought in almost exclusively local skirmishes. The board was set to meet the evening of June 1 to reconsider its decision.

"We're absolutely middle-American," said Joseph Yarworth, the schools' superintendent for the last nine years. "And we're having an argument over our values."

According to the American Library Association, which asks school districts and libraries to report efforts to ban books - that is, have them removed from shelves or reading lists - they are on the rise again: 547 books were challenged last year, up from 458 in 2003. These aren't record numbers. In the 1990's the appearance of the Harry Potter books, with their themes of witchcraft and wizardry, caused a raft of objections from evangelical Christians.

Judith Krug, director of the library association's office for intellectual freedom, attributed the most recent spike to the empowerment of conservatives in general and to the re-election of President Bush in particular. The same thing happened 25 years ago, she said. "In 1980, we were dealing with an average of 300 or so challenges a year, and then Reagan was elected," she said. "And challenges went to 900 or 1,000 a year."

Muhlenberg is a township of modest homes and 10,000 people or so, a bedroom community for the city of Reading, in the southeastern quadrant of the state. It is conservative politically and almost entirely white, and there are a growing number of evangelical Christians. Miss Hunsicker had just returned from a two-week church mission in Honduras when, encouraged by her mother, she made her public complaint.

But the town is not militantly right wing. It is significant that even the more vociferous opponents of the book did not insist it come off the school library shelves (though thieves apparently took care of that). In fact, on April 14, as soon as Dr. Yarworth discovered that an overzealous underling had had copies of the novel stored in the school vault, he ordered them returned to storage in classrooms so it could still be read by students who sought it out.

"I wanted us to comply with the narrowest possible interpretation of the board's decision," Dr. Yarworth said.

What followed was a period of unusual activism here. Students circulated petitions. Teachers prepared defenses of the book, and their local union prepared a defense of the teacher who had assigned it. Letters on both sides appeared in the local newspaper, The Reading Eagle, which published a number of articles about the dispute. In May a column appeared headlined "The Upside of Censorship," by a regular columnist, John D. Forester Jr., who wrote that after reading only "passages" of "The Buffalo Tree," "I am actually applauding the efforts of parents to have books banished in their school libraries and classrooms." A few days later, an editorial took the opposing view.

On May 4, the school board met for the first time since banning "The Buffalo Tree" and about 200 people attended, 10 times the usual number, Dr. Yarworth said. The president, Mark Nelson, apologized for his vote to ban the book, not because he approved of it in the curriculum - he admitted later he had not read it - but because he felt the decision had been hasty and in violation of the board's policy for book challenges, which says a challenge should first be heard by a committee of teachers and administrators before the issue goes before the board.

Another member, Otto Voit, who had read the novel, responded that the board, as the ultimate authority, was within its rights in removing the book from the curriculum.

Over the next two hours, some of the rhetoric on both sides became inflated. Some declared that dirty words are dirty words, and that with novels like "The Buffalo Tree" being taught it's no wonder American society is going down the tubes. And others, not allowing for the genuine discomfort that some readers of "The Buffalo Tree" feel, invoked the specter of Nazi book-burning.

Several students spoke with more reasonable passion about the value of the novel, and one high school senior, Mary Isamoyer, offered to replace the missing library copies of "The Buffalo Tree" with her own.

"Do not insult our intelligence by keeping this book from us," she said.

Tammy Hahn, a mother of four and perhaps the most outspoken of the book's opponents, responded that the students' view was irrelevant. She was not about to let her daughter take part in a classroom discussion about erections, she said, adding that it amounted to harassment to subject a girl to the smirks and innuendoes of male classmates who would have no sympathy for her discomfort.

"This is not about a child's opinion," she said of the students' defense of the book. "This is about parents."

Afterward, Joan Kochinsky, a board member who had not been at the previous meeting, moved that the ban be rescinded. But wary of making another decision in haste, the board postponed the vote for a week.

On May 11, it met for another tense, well-attended session that lasted until nearly midnight. This time there was much discussion about the particulars of Miss Hunsicker's unhappiness with the book.

School policy allows for alternate reading assignments when a student or a parent objects to a book on religious or moral grounds, but Miss Hunsicker never did that; her mother, Tammy, said she would have made those specific objections if she had known it was necessary. Miss Hunsicker had simply asked for something else to read because she didn't like "The Buffalo Tree," and her teacher, Luana Goldstan, refused.

"No one is more critical of literature than English teachers," Stacia Richmond, a colleague of Ms. Goldstan's, told the board. "Do you really think we as educators choose literature in terms of its titillation? Do you not realize we are battling the same immorality you are?"

Dr. Yarworth then suggested that confusion could be avoided if a more explicit policy for book challenges were given to parents, including a synopsis of all books on the required reading lists. If that were done, he asked, would the board consider rescinding the ban on "The Buffalo Tree"?

An informal poll was taken, and by a 5-to-3 vote the board indicated it was ready to reverse itself. It was unclear how many members had finished "The Buffalo Tree"; at least two had, at least three had not. But the lengthy debate seemed to prepare them to change their minds.

After the meeting, however, Mrs. Hahn said she felt her arguments had been given short shrift, and she met privately with Mr. Nelson, the board president, to push the idea of a rating system for schoolbooks, similar to what the Motion Picture Association of America does for films. And on May 18, the board rejected the English department's new policy for book challenges and asked that Mrs. Hahn's requests be accommodated: that reading lists made available to parents include a ratings system, plot summaries of all assigned books, and the identification of any potentially objectionable content.

Teachers adamantly opposed these strictures, Michael Anthony, chairman of the English department, said, adding that they would undoubtedly result in more frequent challenges. Dr. Yarworth, who is trying to broker a compromise between the board and faculty, said he had already heard a few grumbles about "Of Mice and Men" and "Catcher in the Rye."

In any case, Mr. Anthony said, " 'The Buffalo Tree' isn't coming back anytime soon."

Okay. This is just...not okay. The scene they're talking about, which is the only scene that a large part of the board had ever read from the book, is extremely minor, and not the most explicitly sexual/potentially offensive scene of the book. I'm tempted to say that the silent problem behind the issues with this totally minor character's erection have to do with homophobia, because there is some mention that the same character gets beat up because the other boys think he's gay. But notice how they don't say that. And how they don't seem to object to the scene in which the two most major characters are listening in on a guard's porn film and masturbating. Or the really intense scenes of violence, or the equally intense scene of suicide. No, apparently the protestors of the book just can't handle a thirteen-year-old boy's morning stiffy. Give me a break. I'm glad the book lasted five years on their curriculum before getting challenged, I wish it had lasted more--it's a really unusual and fascinating story, and worthwhile for any young adult, no matter how sheltered. School is about educating, about breaking down bias and prejudice, about preparing teenagers to go out into the world and be adults, and I think they'll be worse off for not reading books like this. Argue all you want, but 11th graders are not children, though they're not adults either, and it's an insult to their intelligence and capability to presume that they can't handle (and shouldn't have to deal with) sexuality.

Compassionating Rhythm

A Tribute to Alex's Finished Paper, And To the Illustrious VM, Written in Her Voice!
(and i'm sure the parody Alex writes will be cleverer and more complete than this)

Compassionating rhythm,
For sins and supplicants!
Compassionating rhythm,
I'm interceding.

When a mess they're making!
And Jesus wants to know
Whether they are faking
Or truly needing.

Each morning I get up with the sun-
Start a-praying,
Never straying -
To find at night more supplication.

I know that
I can convince Jesus-
Of whom He should forgive;
They all try to please us,
Although they're sinners.

Never take a day off,
I listen to their pleas
All from far away off.
They can be winners!

Oh, how I long to be the saint they all count on!
Compassionating rhythm,
Oh, this is your tribute song!

I Almost Forgot This Poem Because I Fell Back To Sleep.

I woke this morning
before sunrise, startled; I
was dreaming, and then

I thought I heard you
calling to me. The room was
dark and silent; just

in case, I checked the
phone. It hadn't rung. For just
a moment, I thought

it was summer, or
the winter before. Then I
remembered that I

don't sleep with the phone
set on high volume any
more, ready to wake.

I let it vibrate,
wake me if it will. Still, I
don't sleep through the night.

More Insomnia

I was hoping that I might be able to not be a wild insomniac during the work week, but it looks like that just isn't in the cards for me tonight. My ipod is out of juice, and despite how tired I was when I was doing homework before bed, as soon as the lights are out and the room is quiet I just can't sleep. My brain goes crazy, thinking about everything there is to think about...all the work I have coming up and how I'm going to divide it so that it all gets done...getting myself a used bike so that I can sleep later in the morning and get lots of exercise riding to school, and how I'm going to decorate said bike if I end up getting one that's an ugly color...how the weeks are flying by so fast, and how I'm not sure I'm ready for this semester to suddenly be almost over...what I'm going to write my final papers on...when I'm going to get a new tattoo and whether I'll wear something at New Years that will show it off...whether riding a bike will make me fit and thin in time for New Years, or at least speed me along the way...angsty things, and nice things, and things that just don't need to be clogging my head right now when I should be sleeping. I wish I knew how to turn my brain off. Is this what it feels like for people who are diagnosed insomniacs? Or do I just have too much on my mind? I'm unsure.

In other news, I was introduced to an interesting website today, Craftster. Looks like fun, and I'm sure I'll get really into it when I have more free time and I'm not gearing up for presentations and final papers and junk like that. Maybe I'll even enter the monthly craft challenge thing, once they post a new challenge. I could always pretend I have time for crafts.... (when in reality, I've been crocheting the same scarf for something like a full month now, and haven't gotten even halfway done with the thing)

I guess that's all from the sleepless peanut gallery.... Tune in next week, same Danger time, same Danger station. Brownie points if you know what I'm quoting.

Coincidence?

Interesting..... that last poem was about my grandmother, and I thought about posting it to the blog my parents read, but I decided not to. In spite of that, when I went to my mom's blog today, she had also just posted a poem about my grandmother. It's not an anniversary or birthday or anything....just a really interesting coincidence. Though I like to think it isn't a coincidence after all.

Sunday Sunrise

I don't precisely know why I am driven
to slip on canvas shoes with sequins
and step out into the early dawn.

It has rained; the yard is crisp and quiet,
every leaf distinct, sharp as a knife,
and the blades of grass
bend under water droplets.
Everyone is still; I am the only one
who is still awake, except
the birds. Their voices carry,
chirp

chirp

chirp

I know the sound, but do not place it right away.
I look into the next yard. Along the fence
a flash of red reminds me, and I see you.

I stand in the yard, dew soaking through the canvas shoes,
wearing a sweater that used to be yours
and watching the cardinal watch the world.

I venture back toward the door;
the cardinal,
then another, swoop down across my path,
perching for a moment in the front yard tree.

A moment later they are gone, but I hear them,
chirp

chirp

chirp
and I know that you are watching me,
even here, even in the gray morning
of an unfamiliar town.

I wonder if you know that underneath your sweater
I wear a man's undershirt. I wonder
if you know that I think of your smooth dancing
though I never got to see it.

Through the night's dark hours I cannot sleep,
heart too full and mind too unoccupied;
in the expanse of stars and universe
I am small and too alone. But
with the watery sun and morning mist
I feel at peace and ready for my bed,
with cardinal song slipping in
through the window.

Another Insomniac Poem

I wrote another
poem but it's not the kind
that can be shared in

public. Then I felt
bad, so I wrote this haiku
to take its place. Too

bad it isn't yet
National Poetry Month--
I'm so on a roll.

The sun is rising
and I'm reading old poems
that all make me sad,

but most of them are
damn good. Sometimes I even
can surprise myself.

Migraine Nebula

It starts with the clouds of pain
along my skull,
inside, bright spots like stars
pricking. Then the crying
pushes against my sinuses. Lying in the dark
I imagine a nebula filling up the cavity,
huge and clouded, spreading
beneath the surface of my face
and creeping around my brain. Behind my eyelids
I see swirls of color and I think
if you should look into my eyes
you would see the vast expanse, mysterious
of space. Cold stasis, expanding, filling up
my hollow chest.
And if you looked
hard enough
you would see the bright stars
burning, alive with fire.
They are too far away to touch.
There is no safety in a field of stars,
only extremity, burning heat
and burning cold.
I slip into bed with the universe.
I slip into bed
with the universe
in my head.

Snippet of Conversation

(While watching a video on YouTube of the middle section from If These Walls Could Talk II, subtitled in Spanish)

Me: I'm going to bookmark this, and watch it later.
Becky: You could just watch the movie....
Me: But then it wouldn't have the subtitles.



Okay, this is really only funny if you witnessed me laughing wildly at the Spanish, which was pretty accurate but somehow hysterical. But it seemed blogworthy.

Clearly There Are Some Prostitutes I Should Be Visiting.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Huh.

I had a strange and interesting sex dream last night. I've been having strange and interesting dreams a lot, lately, though this is the first in a while that had any sex in it. I also had a weird not-sex dream when I napped yesterday that involved the Ghost of Tara---I've clearly been reading too much of those alternate reality Buffy novels. Did anyone else have interesting dreams?

Just Talking

I don't really have anything to say, I just felt like... I dunno. Posting about nothing, apparently. I've made and broken lots of different resolutions today, many having to do with my homework and the frequency with which I read things that are not homework...and the frequency with which I read some things at all.... I have cramps and I'm sleepy, and I bet this is confusing and dull for everyone but me. But I get pleasure out of typing. I also have a little smiley guy on my hand. I'd take a picture, but I'm too lazy. I guess I just have nothing to say that's appropriate for a public forum. That's a little sad.

Sorry All....

Apologies for the passive-aggressive posts lately. I think right know all I can say is ugh, because my head hurts lots. Time for more Buffy.

Scratch That

Nevermind that Jack-o-Lantern crap. I don't need a metaphor for what I feel like. I feel like shit.

Jack-0-Lantern

I've been pondering metaphors for how I feel today, and I decided that I feel like a Jack-o-Lantern. Feel free to voice your interpretations.

Thanks

Thanks for the hugs and blankets. I feel more like a normal human this morning, let's hope it lasts!

You Know You're A Mess When.....

....you nearly burst into tears at work because you think you're finally alone in the room and it's okay, and then it turns out there's some dumb blonde girl watching a movie, but she's short, so you couldn't see her from where you're sitting, and then you're embarassed and have to hide behind the computer monitor to wipe your face, but you're glad you didn't actually start sobbing, because she might have heard you, and then she gets up and leaves a minute later and you write about it in your blog. Oh yeah. Must be PMS time again.

Vaccination

You know how, to protect you against a disease, they inject you with a very little bit of the disease? Today feels like a vaccination. Which you can take to mean that it's been slightly rough so far, I'm feeling a little sore, but next time I have a day like this it won't be as bad.